“THE LEGEND OF JACK AND THE MURDEROUS APPLE”
by Caroline Allard
It’s Halloween in town, the sky’s purple as grape
In the streets a willow walks along with an ape
Our hero is a guy that just loves a sweet snack
(For the sake of the
guidelines we will call him Jack)
Jack came home from the long run, his sweet tooth aching
He could almost feel it, the candies were waiting!
Call it superstition or refrained gluttony
He glanced in his bag first,
to welcome the goodies
Oh Great Satanist Lord of the Candies on Earth
Why would you permit such a painful thing! It hurts!
For amongst the candies at the top of the bag
Lied an apple. Good grief!
Those health freaks were a drag
While Jack took the fruit off with a disgusted stare
The apple jumped at him and shouted in the air:
"We apples have enough of being snickered at
The revenge will be messy!
You’re dead, little brat!"
The murderous apple was aiming at Jack’s throat
But the candy bag started to quiver and jolt
A special kind of treat appeared out of the blue
It was the tootsie pops
jumping to the rescue!
Soon thirteen tootsie pops took their turn in a row
Fighting fruity possession with powerful blows
Those candies were the stuff for mythical folk tales
And a tootsie pop cult
was bound to raise the sales!
After the great battle, the damn fruit was at loss
Beaten up in a pulp, it was now apple sauce
The tootsies were panting too, and paying the price
Cause one of them was dead,
If when they were thirteen they were magic as hell
Now that they were just twelve, they laid there, no more spell
For his lost friends, Jack said a medireview prayer
Then thought „They’re still
tootsies!“ and ate them like a bear
And he munched and he sucked and he crunched and he squeezed
And he grinned and he laughed and he was oh, so pleased
But hold on a minute, cause there’s a tragic turn
You guessed it, poor old
Jack had a lesson to learn
See, despite his victory and his ravenous feast
Jack felt as he would need at his bedside a priest
Cause as grand as he was, he could never escape
Ritual stomach cramps, Halloween’s brutal fate